“Never Talk to Strangers.” Everything I remember about this book I had when I was two or three: The Easter Bunny isn’t a stranger because everyone knows him.
My dad picks up hitchhikers. At least once, when I was two or three, my carseat was put in the trunk to make room.
Bad advise and inconsistency. My childhood.
I’m not particularly envious.
Exceptions: People who are confident and yards with nice grass.
I react like everyone else, even like those I most despise; but I make up for it by deploring every action I commit, good or bad. – Emil Cioran
If I hadn’t chosen to play the trumpet, a decision made as 4th grader, I wouldn’t have met my husband.
That’s a fucked up thought.
I have some journals, mostly from a pretty dark time.
I’m afraid to read them.
I don’t want to throw them away in case I want to read them in the future.
I want to throw them away so no one can read them if I die.
Dying unexpectedly is the scariest part of dying.
Some people are resilient like Tom Brady is a quarterback. I can’t comprehend how it would feel to be either.
Sometimes, I feel like the least validated person I’ve ever met.
Anxiety is like being in a perpetual state of being between a rock and a hard place.
No one else can see either the rock or the hard place.
Medication keeps the bipolar disorder in check. Wild swings, smaller in proportion but quite perceptible, still present regularly.
This is what anxiety can look like.
A busy day, but in no way a bad day. Hot, but not as hot or humid as it had been.
Started off with bra shopping. Not fun, but the company still makes the same bra I bought last time, so pretty painless. They were even on sale.
Killed 20 minutes in a store where I enjoy browsing. Found an awesome giraffe for a surprisingly low price. I think I hugged her before putting her in my cart.
Went to the spa for a manicure. Left there with sparkly, purple nails.
Grocery shopping. Two stores, not a very long list. Mid-week, not a lot of shoppers.
Started the day feeling alright. Gradually, by the time I walked into the first grocery store, the overwhelming feeling of impending doom.
It was the worst day ever. For no reason. I haven’t been able to completely shake it.